… in one of those instances which exposes really how shallow you are, I find myself gratified that it, indeed, has finally happened. What is it?
Professional recognition.
Since I was a child I always wanted to be a “real science fiction writer”. For some reason, I got it in my head that this meant membership in the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America. Not sure how that happened, but it did: the external approval of that group of strangers somehow came to matter to me. So I tried to join.
First I wrote a science fiction short story that got published in 1995 in The Leading Edge magazine, but when I checked I found that the Leading Edge was not eligible for SFWA.
Then I wrote an urban fantasy novel that got published in 2010 by Bell Bridge Books, but when I checked I found that Bell Bridge was not eligible for SFWA.
Then, I missed the deadline to register for Comic-Con this year, and decided, what the heck, I’ll try to register as a professional. After all, I’ve written an urban fantasy novel, drawn its frontispiece, and even created a webcomic. And for years I’ve felt that comics are my future as a creator. So, what the heck, why not?
Ding:
Dear Comic-Con Creative Creative Professional Attendee,
Thank you for registering for Comic-Con International 2010: San Diego
Please take a few moments to review your registration information…
Well. Allrighty then.
Yes, it’s shallow of me to base some part of my evaluation of my personal self worth on the approval of others. Yes, this shows a deep-seated insecurity that needs to be addressed by a deep increase in maturity. Yes, yes, yes, I’ll work on that. But still …
… it’s finally happened.
Well, enough basking. Back to work on Blood Rock. But wait – it is indeed working.
Boo-yah.
-the Centaur
