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Posts tagged as “Blogging Every Day”

[retro twenty twenty six day six]: iterative improvement

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Sandi and I talked a good bit about how to improve my Lebanese pickled hot peppers. I have been having 1-2 of them, plus one of the grape-leaf toppings, with our squash+mujuddara meals for the past few nights. The hotness is OK, but the flavor could be better, but the real problem is the texture: the first few peppers were too crunchy, which itself isn't at all a bad thing, except it wasn't what I was trying to recreate.

Dad's hot peppers (well, probably Mom's hot peppers, but made to Dad's exacting but poorly-articulated specifications and executed with Mom visiting Aunt Nagla, Aunt Kitty or Aunt Theresa to get the skinny on the recipe, because that was how they all rolled) were hot but not too hot, soft but not squishy with a little but of crunchy, vinegary from their brine; and well-preserved enough to be stored in the kitchen cabinet.

I have been in the hospital from food poisoning too many times to put anything in the fucking kitchen cabinet, no matter how well preserved. For those not in the know, I have been in the hospital at least twice, and probably three times, with food poisoning so severe that I became dehydrated enough to require a saline IV. And I realized that the common factor in every triggering event was getting a bit of food that was slightly off in some way, and eating it thinking, "Naaah, it will be fine."

Yes, food that tastes weird may just be food that tastes weird, but after the third such incident, I deployed one of my Rules(TM) to put a stop to that. My Rules(TM) are things I use to prevent me from going down a path which might get me into serious trouble down the road. Some of my Rules(TM) include: never gamble for money (with exceptions for <$20 dollars in a slot machine if waiting around while friends are gambling at a casino), a one drink per day limit (with a rare second drink several hours later, such as a nightcap if the drink wasn't strong, a late evening cocktail after a margarita at an early lunch, or a drink in a circumstance when you know you're not driving, such as a plane flight or a hotel bar after a long plane flight). And another Rule(TM) is "If anything seems off with some food, don't fucking eat it, full stop --- literally no exceptions."

So my pickled hot peppers go in the fridge, and that leads to the first potential diagnosis of the crunchiness problem: rather than 1-2 months pickling in the cabinet, maybe they need 3-5 months pickling in the fridge. Another might be letting them dehydrate more; Dad's pickled hot peppers were pretty soft, and Sandi's mom Dottie suggested letting the peppers dry out longer. Using Sandi's dehydrator or mild roasting might achieve the same effect of drying the peppers out so they'd absorb more brine and making them softer.

Also, I think I'd radically up the spice in the brine, adding more turmeric and garlic and coriander seeds, which seem to have been a whole net positive on the appearance and flavor of the hot pepper mix. It's entirely possible that dehydrating / drying out / roasting, jazzing up the brine, and perhaps going full non-refrigerated canning ritual with boiling rather than salt/vinegar fridge canning with mere jar sterilization, would yield better results.

But all of this, note, is unscientific; or, more properly, is what classic thinkers would have called science and modern thinkers would have called art: examining a situation, rationally analyzing it, and then applying the results of that rational analysis to suggest a next alternative. That procedure sounds great, and it sure suckered the Greeks, but it's total bullshit. In real life, you do not fucking know whether the ideas you have extracted from past events will apply in future circumstances, and the only fucking solution is to simply try them, record the results, and attempt to generalize over many instances, hoping that what you think you have learned is not an artifact of random noise.

That's depressing, in general, and doubly depressing for professional scientists. Most of the questions we want to answer in our daily lives are not amenable to the methods of science because the events in question happen too rarely to get statistically reliably conclusions (and before you protest that you are actually "scientifically" testing your ideas, let me point out that you need roughly 30 trials in each major bucket of analysis, good or bad, to have statistically reliable results, and I can virtually guarantee you're not conducting 30-1000 trials for most of the things you think you have learned in the course of your life).

No, we instead rely on our innate learning: the gut that Jim Kirk relied on, Spock mocked, and McCoy understood the wisdom of. We've got three point five billion years of evolution underlying our learning systems, so when humans learn things, the results of our learning aren't bad.

But a rule of thumb is not validated knowledge.

The only solution is to have humility, accept that we can be wrong, and to try, try, try again.

So I'm going to keep canning Lebanese pickled peppers until I get it right, is what I'm saying.

-the Centaur

Pictured: the pickled peppers, in their intended deployment at a meal.

[twenty twenty six day five]: veganize me

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I am unlikely to become a vegan, but I do enjoy vegan food, and one special time for vegans is the winter, in which many wonderful squash are available for vegan dishes. My wife has developed a wonderful "formula" for vegan dinners which involves a squash (today, spaghetti squash), a filling (today I think mujudara, a rice and lentil Lebanese dish she picked up from me and ran with), a topping (mushroom jerky and mushroom marinara sauce) and some kind of bread or pasta (today, vegan sourdough from Whole Foods).

An assist on today's meal are some Lebanese pickled hot peppers that I made which are ... okay. The recipe I used said they'd be ready in about a month, but these are one and a half months old and they're not too pickled so far. Flavor is fine, not too exciting, but the ones my mom and dad made were always a bit more pickled and soft, whereas these are still crunchy. I'd probably research whatever it is that makes them more soft and do more of that, and probably up the amount of spices (turmeric and garlic and more) in the mix.

But! A perfectly good meal.

Today's challenges included blogging (yasss, this post), drawing (1 drawing), writing (~1900 words on Tales of the Spookymurk), working on a scientific paper (on prosocial robotics), and some reading.

Also in today's news, America seems to be grasping at starting a Western Hemisphere empire, and to justify it, Stephen Miller demonstrated his lack of grasp of basic history:

https://www.nytimes.com/2026/01/05/us/politics/stephen-miller-greenland-venezuela.html

“We live in a world, in the real world, Jake, that is governed by strength, that is governed by force, that is governed by power,” he said. “These are the iron laws of the world since the beginning of time.”

Real cute, Steveo, but ignorant. Since you're interested in the beginning of history - I know you said time, but I'm just going to interpolate what you really meant there, since it isn't coherent enough to be parsed on its own merits - you might look up the chaps Hitler, Napoleon and Alexander. The iron law of the world is that setting the whole world against you never goes well, and even if things seem to be looking up for you for a bit, an empire put together by pure force will fall apart as soon as it slips from a tyrant's dead fingers.

Realpolitik is neither real nor politic - it's a childish emotional response to situations which is directly contradicted by readily available facts. I'm prepared to justify that in depth, but then, the proponents of realpolitik generally don't know what it actually meant and are simply grasping at a word to justify their emotional desire to do something harmful and stupid that feels good to them, rather than, say, looking at what the actual consequences of pulling that bullshit on counter-acting actors generally turns out to be.

-the Centaur

Pictured: dinner with Sandi, and the pickled peppers when I bottled them.

[twenty twenty six day four]: time to crash

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Okay, today's post was going to be a post about friends and family and the value of organizing dinners.

Instead, I'd like to blog that it's late, and I'm tired.

Our five cats have not been getting along of late, and so we've separated the newest addition from the O.G.'s (the Original Girls, who actually aren't the original gangsters at all, but are the new(ish) kittens picking on the new(est) kitten). So, I was up super late socializing them yesterday, and am real damn tired today.

So please enjoy this picture of late-night pound cake and milk. Goodnight.

-the Centaur

Pictured: Pound cake, vanilla almond milk, and Pattern Recognition and Machine Learning, a fantastic, highly mathematical tour of machine, deep and Bayesian learning, my latest evening read.

[twenty twenty six day three]: drawing every day

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Similarly to Blogging Every Day, my Drawing Every Day project is a challenge to complete a single practice drawing every day in a year. I got inspired to do this after learning that Jim Lee, an artist I greatly admire and current Chief Creative Officer at DC Comics, took off a whole year after college to re-learn to draw instead of diving right into medical school. He set up a drafting table near his bed and drew 8 to 10 hours a day.

Now, I couldn't do that when I started Drawing Every Day back in 2021, as I was a roboticist at Google working to bank up savings for me and my wife's retirement. But I could commit to doing at least one practice drawing, as I was already experienced at doing writing challenges like this blog and National Novel Writing Month. My notes say I got at least 215 days in to Drawing Every Day in 2021.

But I seem to have skipped it entirely in 2022, and couldn't pick it up again in 2023 due to the Google layoffs and me scrambling to finish the papers we had in flight and to get contract work. Only in 2024 did I start the project again, this time, getting at least 135 days into it (I say at least, since I may have drawings in a notebook that I did not yet scan for my records).

2025 was the year that I really buckled down and won it. Here are the rules that I followed:

  • The challenge starts in a calendar year.
  • The goal is to produce one practice drawing for every day in the year.
  • You can draw ahead as far as you have to to make sure you don't fall behind.
  • Ideally, your buffer should be at least a month, a week, and two days.
  • Drawings should be complex enough to take at least 10 minutes.
  • Any drawing you finish, in any medium, can count towards Drawing Every Day.
  • Conversely, don't pick a topic for Drawing Every Day too complex for a full 3 hour practice session.
  • "Retro" posts for missed days OR YEARS are allowed.
  • Success is doing a drawing for every day in a year before the year is over.
  • Completion is doing a drawing for every day in a year, regardless of when it is drawn.

But there's more than that. There's one other trick: carry a portable drawing kit everywhere. So now, in the grey Google backpack that has my "portable office", I always carry a notebook, a small book of art instruction I can draw from, and a roll of sketching pencils, sharpeners, and erasers, and Micron pens.

With this, generally, I can allocate between 30 minutes and 3 hours to drawing on most days, but not every day. (For example, a day that you're sick, or flying or traveling, or the big friends and family Christmas party, are all days in which near zero drawing gets done). So building up a buffer is essential to finishing a year.

And once you've allowed building up a buffer, you can do more than that. The point is not to do a streak of consecutive days drawing; the point is having done one drawing for every day in the year - or, more precisely, doing a given amount of drawing practice in a year.

So first I started allowing myself "retro" posts when I got behind - originally, just for posting on this blog. But I decided it was more important to do the drawings than to blog them, and I focused then on building that buffer. Then blowing past the buffer. And finally, about October, blowing past the end of the year.

At that point, more than two months ahead, I had a choice: keep going until I finished my drawings for the year ... or start backfilling previous years. I picked the latter, allocating roughly two drawings to the future and one drawing to the past. This ensured that even if I lost a day, I'd still keep moving ahead.

I then blew past the end of 2025, and decided, rather than coast through the end of the year, I would just keep going. At this point, I'm over 90 days into 2026's drawings, and have around 120 to finish for 2024's. So as far as keeping the discipline up, I am feeling pretty good about this project.

Which is good, because around August to September, I wanted to give up.

After having spent much of 2024 and much of 2025 working on Drawing Every Day, not to mention the previous years, I started to feel my drawing wasn't improving. Frankly speaking, I wanted to quit, and seriously considered quitting as I was getting really busy around Dragon Con time.

But, I kept telling myself: you've been laid off. Your major consulting contract has come to a close. And you have time to write your novels. If you don't put in the time and the hours now, you'll never become a comic book artist, and the comic books that you want to write and draw will never be completed.

So I committed to finishing 2025. And as I did that work, I started, very slowly, to notice incremental improvements in my drawings. Feet were not quite as terrible. Hands were not quite as impossible. And the shape of the human body started to feel a little bit less like unknown territory and a little bit more mapped.

Frankly speaking, I don't ever think I'm going to be a "great artist". As I understand it, individual differences in innate talent can account for more than a tenfold difference in quantity and quality on many cognitive tasks, and I think I have been blessed with a great artistic interest but not as great an artistic aptitude.

But the bulk of the quality of any individual's performance is not related to their innate talent, but instead into their learned skill. The so-called "ten thousand hours of practice" needed to become an expert is a very real thing, and almost every expert has put in a similar number of hours to end up where they are.

At ~30 minutes to 1 hour for a drawing, I'm getting roughly 200 hours of practice in a full year, with about 500 hours under my belt in the Drawing Every Day project. For contrast, Kimon Nicolaїdes's The Natural Way to Draw course of practice is about 900 hours of practice, and if Jim Lee did 10 hours a day, 5 days a week for 50 days in his gap year, that would be 2500 hours of practice. Clearly, I have a long way to go.

But I could do it, in a year. Nothing stopped me - not friends or family, writing or research, consulting or even a full-time job, counting the 2/3 of a year I finished in 2021. In fact, I think with the principles of practice I've developed for Drawing Every Day at least a month ahead, I would have easily finished 2021.

And I enjoy it.

So nothing is stopping me from Drawing Every Day for the next ten years if I want to. And if I keep it up, the one day I'll find, ten years have got behind me ... and 3650 completed drawings will be under my belt, for something like 2000 hours of practice. I'm guessing comic book projects will be easier then.

Not that anything's stopping me from drawing more, or starting comics sooner. I started Drawing Every Day to help rebuild my confidence in drawing, which collapsed after I broke my arm in a karate match in late 2004 (I think November 30th, if I've done the math right) and my laptop was stolen and the replacement laptop could no longer run my webcomic software. I've tried to resurrect my drawing career before - most notably in that post from 2014, a decade after the break, but it didn't take - because I was out of practice.

Now, God willing, whenever I do pull the trigger on my comic projects, I hope practice won't be the problem.

-the Centaur

Pictured: My portable drawing kit, and "the break".

[twenty twenty-six day two]: what i call blogging every day

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What is Blogging Every Day? Well, that seems simple enough, right? If you blog every day, then you blog every day. Bloggers like John Scalzi at Whatever and Caitlin R. Kiernan at Dear Sweet Filthy World pop out a blog post almost every day, so, that would count, right?

Well, no, because they're blogging machines, and I'm not. If they happen to blog every day, then it's because protons haven't decayed. If I happen to blog every day, then that's damn dumb luck that there were a few days in a row that I blogged. That's just "happening to blog on consecutive days".

No, what I mean is taking on the challenge of producing a blog post for every day of the year.

I've had great luck with challenges in my creative career - 24 Hour Comic Day (draw 24 pages in 24 hours), the 48 Hour Film Project (shoot a film in 48 hours), Script Frenzy (to produce 100 pages of script in a month), to the granddaddy of them all, National Novel Writing Month (write 50,000 words of a new novel in one month, a challenge at which I have succeeded at forty-plus times).

So I've invented my own challenges. Drawing Every Day was initially difficult, but I succeeded at it last year for the first time - more on that tomorrow. Writing Every Day also is scattershot, as is Coding Every Week. Music (Practice) Every Day is deliberately getting sacrificed for the writing and drawing. And Social Media Every Week makes me break out into hives, which we're having some success treating with cat therapy.

As for Blogging Every Day, here's the rules of this challenge:

  • The challenge starts in a calendar year (say, twenty twenty six).
  • The goal is to produce one post for every day in that year.
  • You can schedule posts ahead to deal with obligations.
  • To count, the post must be intended for that day.
  • "Retro" posts for missed days are allowed.
  • Success is scheduling a post for every day in the year within the year.
  • Completion is writing a post for every day in a year, regardless of when it is written.

"To count, the post must be intended for that day" needs a little explanation. If you've not been blogging, and something happens - like a family party you want to share, or a movie you want to review, or someone being wrong on the Internet - then that motivated post doesn't count as blogging every day. If you are blogging every day, then all topics are fair game - but don't count posts that weren't taken on as part of the challenge, because then you're back to depending on luck, or proton decay.

"Retro" posts and "Completion" also deserve a statement. For my Drawing Every Day project, I draw far ahead - about 80+ days right now for 2026 - since I know my drawing is "bursty". But I can pretty much similarly guarantee I'll miss a post at, say, Dragon Con. So you can "backfill" and have it count - as in my Drawing Every Day project, where I have now started backfilling 2024's missing drawings (I have about 120 drawings left to finish for 2024).

This is different than, say, Vandy Beth Glenn's approach to Running Every Day. At one point her "running every day" streak had gotten insanely large, like over 1,000, and someone asked her: "Do you ever miss a day?" Her response: "No, because I would not have been running for every day."

That's great, but I'm not trying to create a streak of consecutive blogging: I'm trying to create a collection of blog posts for every day of the year. So I will blog, schedule posts, blog ahead, backfill, retro, whatever to put myself in the habit of making sure I've blogged every day.

And what I've found with the Drawing Every Day project is that that discipline - treating it as a collection that I am trying to fill, rather than a streak I'm trying to achieve - has enabled me to build up a buffer and build up my drawing muscles and get my regular practice going.

Here's to that for Blogging Every Day 2026 ... Day Two!

-the Centaur

Pictured: Loki, helping me blog.

[twenty twenty six day one] happy new year!

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So! 2025 was a hell of a year, wasn't it? Seems like a lot of them have been that way for the world since ... oh, I don't know, 2016 ... and for me personally since roughly 2019. Mom's death, major work disruptions, Covid, a bit of a sunny spot in 2022 when LLMs hit robotics (roughly a year before ChatGPT went live!), the layoffs in 2023, and the whole chaotic mess of the elections in 2024 and the authoritarian takeover of the US in 2025.

But, we made it. The pandemic seems gone and is not coming back. Trump hasn't gotten away with everything he wanted to, and every once in a blue moon he does something not entirely stupid. And our great big party this year didn't have a huge blowup like the last four years, but was a great success!

We accomplished this by reaching out to everybody and involving them in the party planning individually, rather than sending a huge email blast and hoping, and then engaging people when they arrived. It worked surprisingly well! We even had - gasp - civil political discourse! And a fire alarm, but, that was unrelated.

Over 2025, I didn't keep up with blogging every day like I wanted to, but I pretty much nailed writing, getting about 200,000 words of rough draft written, plus a scientific paper; and as for drawing every day, I'm almost 90 days ahead for 2026 already. So I hope to start posting those soon as part of this blog.

More news to share later, but for now ... Happy New Year!

May yours not be all bad.

-the Centaur

Pictured: Me and Sandi at a dinner with her mother a few days ago, then from a nearby Barnes and Noble over dinner; and two pictures from our "Edgemas" party, now in something like its 35th year depending on how you count (34 years since we called it Edgemas, 37 years since our first holiday party).

[twenty-twenty five day three four one]: socialize me bro

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Pictured is Lovi, the newest of our cats, a stray from San Jose which Sandi started feeding, then befriended, then adopted once she'd become dependent. Everything was going fine with Lovi even after the move, until she was introduced to the other cats. Loki did a double take when he saw her, but the kittens were more freaked out, and have gradually become more and more aggressive with her. Lovi started peeing on stuff, and I eventually deduced that the kittens were likely keeping Lovi from the litterboxes.

We separated them, and everyone calmed down. Apparently this backsliding is a thing that can happen when introducing cats, and you need to be willing to do a reset. But, despite the calming down, it took a week or so for Lovi to start warming back up again. She used to hop up on Sandi's lap, but quit that when she was introduced to the kittens. She refused to do that for me, and Sandi realized that the blanket we had on the chair where I read in the bedroom likely smelled of kitten. I replaced that cover with a new blanket, and within the day Lovi had hopped up on it and started making biscuits and rubbing on my hand.

So, mission accomplished. Here's hoping it lasts!

-the Centaur

Pictured: the new cat, on the new blanket, newly making biscuits.

[retro twenty twenty-five day three four oh]: go easy on yourself

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Some days you just don't feel right. Other days you realize, you're not actually well.

So I found out late Friday that I've actually been sick - congestion, sore throat, and headaches kicked in pretty bad, followed by some pretty serious gastrointestinal upset most of the day Saturday. And, if I'm honest with myself, I haven't felt great since Thanksgiving, when I also thought I might have been coming down with something and then decided that I had fought it off. More or less likely I have been fighting it off the whole time, and was simply not paying close enough attention to my body.

Depressingly, I'm wont to do that.

So I took it easy Saturday afternoon once I knew what was going on, cutting back on my errands and trying to give my body a chance to relax. I did the same thing the next morning (breaking the illusion of the retro blogging, I know) and slept in rather than go to church. By the midafternoon, I was feeling better.

Sometimes you need to go easy on yourself, but it also requires paying attention to what your body needs.

-the Centaur

Pictured: A pair of tomato sandwiches I made at home, which itself was taking a break from my normal Saturday hit-Panera-then-run-errands routine.

[retro twenty twenty five day three three nine]: change it up

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Missed a couple days blogging because of a good day writing (plus another reason which wasn't apparent at the time). But, looking retro at those past few days, one thing I do notice is that you sometimes need to change it up. At Monterrey by the Mall, my favorite dish, by far, is the fish tacos (which is generally one of my favorite meals anywhere). But, in the cold snap we've been having in Greenville this early December, it was surprisingly good to have the hot chicken soup instead, with some quesabirria as a chaser. Sometimes, if you're a person who's prone to ruts, you need to push yourself outside your comfort zone. Even if you don't find your new favorite, you may find something to keep yourself warm a cold winter night.

-the Centaur

Pictured: Chicken soup and my evening reading pile at Monterrey by the Mall's high-top tables in the bar.

[twenty twenty five day three three eight]: the three drawing rule

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So I'm actually doing well on the "drawing every day" project, but am deliberately holding off resuming those posts until I'm convinced the "blogging every day" project is running solidly again. But one interesting trick from "drawing every day" is another rule of three: the three drawing rule.

My actual rules for "drawing every day" are a topic for another day (as I'm trying to mentally categorize them myself) but the main point is, it isn't a challenge, an attempt to create an unbroken streak of days drawing; it's an exercise, an attempt to enforce a total amount of practice drawing in a year.

Since I can't always sit down for the 30 minutes to 3 hours needed to do the drawings, what I've started doing is the "three drawing rule": try to do at least three drawings in a session. If I miss a day or two, then the three drawing rule keeps me on track, so I'm still doing roughly a drawing a day.

The bonus is, if I am getting my drawing time in every day, I have bonus drawings that I can accrue to one of the other years. I already tanked all my drawings for 2025, and so now I'm drawing a head into 2026 (about 70+ drawings) and backfilling 2024 (about ~120 drawings from the end).

And, strangely enough, I am actually seeing small signs of improvement. I can still see a lot of room for improvement, of course, and I don't have the nimbleness nor facility that I want.

But things are, slowly, getting better.

Drawing every day.

-the Centaur

Pictured: Drawing at Carmella's Cafe and Dessert Bar, a late-night coffee joint which I visited after going to Hall's Chophouse for my traditional after-Nano celebration / planning-next-steps dinner.

[twenty twenty five day three thirty seven]: non-ironic vegan food

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Vegan kibbey nayye in a bowl.

So, I'm a carnivore married to a vegan, but there are vegan foods that I like - my wife makes a mean stuffed squash dish, and I genuinely look forward to winter squash season where we get this parade of different squash and different stuffings with great side vegetables for several weeks. And the two-black-bean-enchilada "La Vegetarian" plate at La Parilla Mexican Restaurant, when served vegan style plus a side of mushrooms, with the mushrooms and lettuce dumped on top, is one of the best things on the menu.

But then there's vegan food that I would "non-ironically" make. Vegan food not to eat because it's vegan, but because it is genuinely delicious on its own. The canonical example, is of course, tabbouleh, which is the national salad of Lebanon; it's one of my favorite dishes, vegan or not. Vegan baklava, made with vegan butter, is another example: ever since I started making it, I have preferred it, as the vegan variant is lighter, fluffier, flakier and tastier than its traditional counterpart.

But another one, surprisingly, is vegan kibbey nayye, a raw steak tartare dish which is the national meat dish of Lebanon. I will never knock Cousin Jay's traditional kibbey nayye, which is every bit the equal of his mother Aunt Theresa's or my mother's kibbey nayye; both of them made excellent kibbey, and Jay has risen to the challenge of taking the banner in the next generation. You can see Jay's kibbey, both cooked and raw (nayye) from last Saturday's pan-family Thanksgiving dinner, below:

Traditional cooked kibbey squares and kibbey nayye hand balls.

Now, you'd be surprised, but kibbey nayye made from Beyond Beef is every bit as good as regular kibbey - so much so that I keep a pack or two of Beyond in the freezer just so I can make vegan kibbey nayye on any occasion. The recipe is dead simple: thaw out one packet of Beyond Beef in the fridge, wash one cup of fine bulghur wheat three times, soak with a fingersbreadth of water until absorbed, and drain; grate one large white onion and drain (since the onion juice will overpower the mix), and mix the meat, onion and bulghur wheat together until very thoroughly mixed. Spice with a good bit of salt and pepper, a lesser amount of cumin and cinnamon, and a small amount of allspice (but NO NUTMEG, according to my recipe book), and adjust the mix to taste. Serve in a small mound with a cross cut in it, add a little olive oil, and eat with bread.

Vegan kibbey nayye in a round mound on a round plate, with a cross indented in its surface.

To the kibbey nayye connoisseur, the visible texture and the color (yes, the color, even to my partially color-blind eyes) of vegan kibbey nayye is not quite as great as the original. But the texture to the palate is good and the flavor is great. I am not trying to toot my own horn here, since vegan kibbey nayye might be an acquired taste, but this last time I made it (just yesterday) it came out as best as it ever had.

So I will keep one or two packs of Beyond Beef in the freezer (two, generally, so in case you forget to run to the store or they're out, you always have that back up copy) just waiting for me to thaw it, run to the store, grab a big white onion, and pull out the grater to have a great vegan-style Lebanese meal.

Vegan kibbey nayye and pita bread.

-the Centaur

Pictured: Vegan kibbey nayye, traditional cooked and raw kibbey, the traditional "plate with a cross in it" style of presentation, and then kibbey nayye with pita bread (shh, actually tortillas, but that's what I happened to have on hand that day).

[twenty twenty five day three thirty six]: the three cat rule

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So there's this rule I've developed to deal with cat food. If one cat doesn't eat some food that you just put down, that doesn't really mean anything: cats are finicky. If two cats don't eat some food that you just put down, that doesn't necessarily mean anything: it could be coincidence. But if three cats in a row don't eat some food that you just put down, it probably means the food is bad and you should toss it.

The food was bad. The replacement food was a hit.

-the Centaur

Pictured: food that three cats refused, and one of those three cats chowing down on its replacement.

[twenty twenty five day three thirty five]: if i can see it, you know it’s red

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Seen on bushes opposite my office, when trying to coax our at Loki to either go outside or go take a nap. I'm partially red-green color-blind, so something has to be *really* red for it to stand out to me as red. Once a psychophysicist told me that, since I had three detectors like everyone else, that my vision wasn't really deficient; my color axes were just skewed from everyone else's. But that doesn't take into account the overlap of my red-green detectors, which means there are many instances of color that I can discriminate, but don't really notice. I ... suppose that would disadvantage me if I had to forage for food in the wild rather than at Whole Foods, as I do believe the berries that I would notice would likely be toxic.

I noticed these. And - just going out on a limb here - I think these berries are, very probably, very red.

-the Centaur

Pictured: Green bushes with red winter berries, which Google Lens thinks is heavenly bamboo, a bush with berries supposedly toxic to birds which, given the somewhat consistent theme of the landscaping of the house (pretty-but-toxic-useless-or-labor-intensive), does not surprise me.

[twenty twenty-five day two six nine]: it’s dangerous to slog alone, take this stack of textbooks

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So I wasn't kidding about the long slog: I am still chewing through the classic textbook Pattern Recognition and Machine Learning (PDF) by Christopher Bishop, day and night, even though he's got a newer book out. This is in part because I'm almost done, and in part because his newer book focuses on the foundations of deep learning and is "almost entirely non-Bayesian" - and it's Bayesian theory I'm trying to understand.

This, I think, is part of the discovery I've made recently about "deep learning" - by which I mean learning in depth by people, as opposed to deep learning by machines: hard concepts are by definition tough nuts to crack, and to really understand them, you need to hit them coming and going - to break apart the concept in as many ways as possible to ensure you can take it apart and put it back together again. As Marvin Minsky once said, "You don't understand anything until you learn it more than one way."

To some people, that idea is intuitive; to others, it is easy to dismiss. But if you think about it, when you're learning a subject you don't know, it's like going in blind. And like the parable of the blind men and the elephant - each of whom touched one part of an elephant and assumed they understood the whole - if you dig deeply into a narrow view of a subject, you can get a distorted view, like extrapolating a giant snake from an elephant's trunk, or a tall tree from its leg, or a wide fan from its ear, or a long rope from its tail.

Acting as if those bad assumptions were true could easily get you stomped on - or skewered, by the elephant's tusk, which is sharp like a spear.

So back to Bayesian theory. Now, what the hell is a "Bayes," some of you may ask? (Why are you reviewing the obvious, others of you may snark). Look, we take chances every day, don't we? And we blame ourselves for making a mistake if we know that something is risky, but not so much if we don't know what we don't know - even though we intuitively know that the underlying chances aren't affected by what we know. Well, Thomas Bayes not only understood that, he built a framework to put that on a solid mathematical footing.

Some people think that Bayes' work on probability was trying to refute Hume's argument against miracles, though that connection is disputed (pdf). But the big dispute that arose was between "frequentists" who want to reduce probability to statistics, and "Bayesians" who represent probability as a statement of beliefs. Frequentists incorrectly argued that Bayesian theory was somehow "subjective", and tried to replace Bayesian reasoning with statistical analyses of imaginary projections of existing data out to idealized collections of objects which don't exist. Bayesians, in contrast, recognize that Bayes' Theorem is, well, a theorem, and we can use it to make objective statements of the predictions we can make over different statements of belief - statements which are often hidden in frequentist theory as unstated assumptions.

Now, I snark a bit about frequentist theory there - and not just because the most extreme statements of frequentist theory are objectively wrong, but because some frequentist mathematicians around the first half of the twentieth century engaged in some really shitty behavior which set mathematical progress back decades - but even the arch-Bayesian, E. T. Jaynes, retreated from his dislike of frequentist theory. In his perspective, frequentist methods are how we check the outcome of Bayesian work, and Bayesian theory is how we justify and prove the mathematical structure of frequentist methods. They're a synergy of approaches, and I use frequentism and the tools of frequentists in my research, um, frequently.

But my point, and I did have one, is that even something I thought I understood well is something that I could learn more about. Case in point was not, originally, what I learned about frequentism and Bayesianism a while back; it was what I learned about principal component analysis (PCA) at the session where I took the picture. (I was about to write "last night", but, even though this is a "blogging every day" post, due to me getting interrupted when I was trying to post, this was a few days ago).

PCA is another one of those fancy math terms for a simple idea: you can improve your understanding by figuring out what you should focus on. Imagine you're firing cannon, and you want to figure out where the cannonballs are going to land. There are all sorts of factors that affect this: the direction of the wind, the presence of rain, even thermal noise in the cannon if you wanted to be super precise. But the most important variables in figuring out where the cannonball is going to land is where you're aiming the thing! Unless you're standing on Larry Niven's We Made It in the windy season, you should be far more worried about where the cannon is pointed than the way the wind blows.

PCA is a mathematical tool to help you figure that out by reducing a vast number of variables down to just a small number - usually two or three dimensions so humans can literally visualize it on a graph or in a tank. And PCA has an elegant mathematical formalism in terms of vectors and matrix math which is taught in schools. But it turns out there's an even more elegant Bayesian formalism which models PCA as a process based on "latent" variables, which you can think about as the underlying process behind the variables we observe - using our cannonball example, that process is again "where they're aiming the thing," even if we ultimately just observe where the cannonballs land.

Bayesian PCA is equivalent (you can recover the original PCA formalism from it easily) and elegant (it provides a natural explanation of the dimensions PCA finds as the largest sources of variance) and extensible (you can easily adapt the number of dimensions to the data) and efficient (if you know you just want a few dimensions, you can approximate it with something called the expectation-maximization algorithm, which is way more efficient than the matrix alternative). All that is well and good.

But I don't think I could have even really understood all that if I hadn't already seen PCA in half a dozen other textbooks. The technique is so useful, and demonstrations about it are so illuminating, that I felt I had seen it before - so when Bishop cracked open his Bayesian formulation, I didn't feel like I was just reading line noise. Because, let me tell you, the first time I read a statistical proof, it often feels like line noise.

But this time, I didn't feel that way.

I often try to tackle new problems by digging deep into one book at a time. And I've certainly learned from doing that. But often, after you slog through a whole textbook, it's hard to keep everything you've learned in your head (especially if you don't have several spare weeks to work through all the end-of-chapter exercises, which is a situation I find myself in more often than not).

But more recently I have found going through books in parallel has really helped me. Concepts that one book flies over are dealt with deeply in another. Concepts that another book provides one angle on are tackled from a completely different one in another. Sometimes the meaning and value of concepts are different between different authors. Even intro books sometimes provide crucial perspective that helps you understand some other, deeper text.

So if you're digging into something difficult ... don't try to go it alone. When you reach a tough part, don't give up, search out other references to help you. At first it may seem an impossible nut to crack, but someone, somewhere, may have found the words that will help you understand.

-the Centaur

Pictured: Again Bishop, and again pound cake.

[twenty twenty-five day two six eight]: the long, long slog

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I once told my wife I was patient - and it was indeed four years from our first meeting to our marriage - but the truth of the matter is that I'm terrible at delayed gratification. I have a kazillion things I want to do and I want them all done now, now, now - but if these things I want done are MY creative projects, then I can't really hire anyone else to do them. I've got to do them myself.

This is a big bottleneck if I haven't yet learned the skill to my own satisfaction.

I've talked before about one of the techniques I use - reading the difficult book at the dinner table. I eat out a lot, and do a lot of my reading either in coffeehouses, at dinnertime, or sitting on a rocking chair near my house. But those places are useful for books that can be read in pieces, in any order. At the dinner table, I have one book set aside - usually the most difficult or challenging thing I am reading, a book which I take in a little bit at breakfast, a little bit at late night milk and pound cake, one bite-sized step at a time.

At the dinner table, I have read Wolfram's A New Kind of Science and Davies' Machine Vision and Jayne's Probability Theory: The Logic of Science and even an old calculus textbook from college that I was convinced I had failed to fully understand on the first readthrough (hint: I hadn't; I had inadvertently skipped one part of a chapter which unlocked a lot of calculus for me). And now I'm going through Bishop's Pattern Recognition and Machine Learning, which has taught me much that I missed about deep learning.

Here's the thing: having gone through (most of) two whole probability textbooks and a calculus textbook that I read to help support the probability textbooks, I no longer feel as unexpert about probability as I once did. It was my worst subject in college, hands down, but I have reached the point where I understand what I did not understand and why I didn't understand it, I know how to solve certain problems that I care about, I know where to look to get help on problems that I can't solve, and I have realized the need to be humble about problems that are currently beyond my framework of understanding.

[Whew! I almost said "I have learned to be humble" there. Ha! No, I don't think you can really learn to actually be humble. You can however learn the need to be humble and then try to achieve it, but humility is one thing that it is really difficult to actually have - and if you claim you have it, you probably don't.]

Now, I know this seems obvious. I know, I know, I know, if you read a buncha textbooks on something and are actually trying to learn, you should get better at it. But my experience is that just reading a textbook doesn't actually make you any kind of expert. At best, it can give you a slightly better picture of the subject area. You can't easily train yourself up for something quickly - you've got to build up the framework of knowledge that you can then use to actually learn the skill.

Which can lead you to despair. It feels like you read a buncha textbooks about something and end up more or less where you started, minus the time you spent reading the textbooks.

But that's only because the process of learning something complex can indeed be a really long slog.

If you keep at it, long enough, you can make progress.

You just have to be patient ... with yourself.

-the Centaur

Pictured: Pattern Recognition and Machine Learning by Bishop, sitting next to my breakfast a few days ago.

[twenty twenty-five day two six seven]: living in a vegan paradise

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Anyone who knows Greenville, South Carolina would NOT describe it as a "vegan paradise". The closest place I can think of that fits that description is Las Vegas, which explicitly features vegan and vegetarian dining thanks to Steve Wynn ( https://www.wynnlasvegas.com/dining/vegetarian-dining ). Asheville, North Carolina, Montreal in Canada, and the San Francisco Bay Area are neck-and-neck behind.

Greenville? I'd snarkily say "not so much", but actually my home town has a fair share of vegan restaurants (Sunbelly, the Naked Vegan, and the Vegan Farmercy come to mind), as well as those which have a vegan menu (Entre Nous / Maestro, the 07, the 05, and the One 5 leap to mind). But actually we live in a time where many restaurants have vegan options, including our favorite, Brixx.

Veganism is an ethical necessity for some, but a luxury for most of us: most humans have not lived in an environment in which they could choose to go vegan even if they wanted to. Fortunately, even in traditional Greenville, South Carolina, we've reached the point where many places have a vast selection of vegan food items, and me and my wife can have a meal together, entirely cruelty-free.

-the Centaur

Pictured: hummus trio at Brixx.

[twenty twenty-five day two six six]: gracious to simply say thank you

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I think I've mentioned before that I once got into an argument with a friend over whether you should complain about something you got for free. My friend said, "If someone buys you a steak, you don't complain about how well it was done, you just say thank you." No, that's how bullies give gifts: with the expectation that they can unilaterally create a debt with an expectation of gratitude.

In real life, it is, of course, gracious to simply say thank you when you receive a gift, even it isn't something that you wanted - or, even if it is not something you approve of. For example, my wife, who is vegan, used to simply smile and say thank you if she has been given something that she would not normally eat, because she's an ethical vegan: the animal has already died, so she would rather it not go to waste.

But she's found herself doing that less and less: some non-vegan food makes her sick, some non-vegan food simply doesn't taste good anymore, and, some non-vegan people are just being dicks. Once we went to a friend's house for Thanksgiving dinner, and they assured her that there would be many vegan options; when we got there, the only thing that was vegan was salad, no dressing, and they literally told her to "suck it up."

The entitlement of the giver gets drawn into even sharper relief when it comes to food allergies. More than one friend has ended up sick because waitstaff lied about what was in their food - and I do mean lied, because in more than one case they specifically asked about it, and then when the food arrived the waitstaff said something like, "but it's chopped up finely, you'll never taste it." Taste isn't the problem, buddy.

But bad actors do not fill the whole world, and the positive side to my friend's argument is that if someone has done something nice for you, it can ruin their day to find out that their extra effort wasn't wanted. Case in point is what C. S. Lewis called "the gluttony of delicacy": where you're super particular about what you want, but don't see it as being demanding or gluttonous because you're "not asking for much."

For example, I hate for stuff to go to waste, and don't use straws, or lemons, in my iced tea, so I ask waitstaff for "unsweetened iced tea, no lemon, no straw." Now, I don't really sweet tea anymore---originally for health and now for taste reasons---so I would send the wrong drink back; but if they give me a lemon and straw, I don't say anything. Thankfully, results from NASA's space probes show the Earth rests on the back of a giant turtle, not a giant camel, so hopefully, getting one extra straw will not cause the end of the world. (1)

But not wanting things to go to waste can ... interact ... with generosity. Another case in point: hot peppers. At one restaurant I go to, you can ask for a little extra sauce, or light cheese, or whatever, and it will happen. At another local restaurant, the kitchen is a little more ... granular with their generosity. I asked for an extra hot pepper on a dish ... and the kitchen sent out an entire plate of extra peppers.

My server buddy always knows what's up and once warned me: "you know, for this kitchen ... let's not make the order too complicated." So we try to keep things simple for them. They've got our best interests at heart. And when they do send out an entire plate of hot peppers when I want just one, I smile and say thank you, and do my best to eat as many of them as I can ... before my mouth catches on fire. (2)

-the Centaur

Pictured: Bistec y camarones con pimientos adicionales.

(1) NASA results actually show that neither oversized tortoises nor dromedaries play any significant astronomical role, making the apocalyptic potential of extra drinking straws even more remote.

(2) I did not, indeed, finish the entire plate of peppers - there were like 200% more peppers than I wanted.

[twenty twenty-five day two sixty five]: can’t see me

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Cats are so colorful and varied it's easy to forget that part of the function of coloring is camouflage. I almost didn't see this little gal sitting in our front foyer! But the camera never lies:

Meet Lovi(licious(ness)), the fifth member of our increasing series of L-named cats. This little lady started coming round our house in San Jose, and after Sandi started feeding her, she soon won her over (it is not clear who won whom over). Sandi welcomed her inside, where Lovi started using the litter box like a pro. We suspect she was someone's kitten who was scared away from their home by fireworks at the Fourth of July, and after unsuccessfully attempting to find her owners, Sandi brought her back to South Carolina.

Crazy cat people here we come.

-the Centaur

Pictured: Um, I said it: our new cat, in our new foyer, trying, unsuccessfully, to hide.

with bread, please

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Speaking as a technically-oriented software engineer who's built some pretty crappy interfaces in my day, it continues to surprise me that people build interfaces without thinking through how people will use them.

For example, Panera Bread has a "you pick two" order, where you can get two half-orders of a sandwich, salad or soup, along with a side like bread, chips or fruit. One would naturally think that the interface where the cashiers would enter your order would allow you to specify the two halves, then the side. Logical, yes?

But if you order that way, the cashiers often seem a little thrown off. And if you give your order slowly - rather than just rattle it off because you've probably ordered it a thousand times at this point - they'll ask a stereotyped series of questions which I impute are being presented in this order by the interface:

  • (1) Is this for here or to go?
  • (2) What do you want on your You Pick Two?
  • (3) Would you like anything to drink?
  • (4) What do you want as your side?

Now, note that a You Pick Two doesn't come with a drink (like Captain D's or Chic-Fil-A's value meals). So the interface. The drink isn't part of the You Pick Two order. Yet if you try to specify your side, the cashiers will have to do a little fiddling in the interface. It's easier just to present information in the order above:

"(1) This is for here. (2) I'd like a You Pick Two, with (2a) a Bacon Turkey Bravo and (2b) a Strawberry Poppyseed (2b1) with Chicken Salad. (3) I'll take a large beverage. (4) Bread as the side. (5) [wait 5 seconds] I don't need the cup - I already have a to-go cup, I just need to pay for the drink."

Note that in (2b1), even though the Strawberry Poppyseed salad normally has chicken on it, if you don't specifically emphasize the fact that it has chicken, sometimes they'll ask if you want to leave it off, and in (5) you have to wait 5 seconds for them to complete the order, or they may delete the drink.

[Why insist on paying for the drink? Because I eat out a lot, and use insulated to-go cups to save on the waste of buying and discarding a cup once or twice a day. But once I was at Panera in Campbell and the Panera district manager complained to me that if I was using a to-go mug I should be paying for my drink. I insisted that I did and showed my receipt ... and found the cashier had taken the drink off the order without telling me. The manager took my word for it, but it made me feel both embarrassed and unwelcome, which is not why I go out to eat - I have work to do, damn it, and need to do my reading in a place where I can't be distracted by doing laundry or whatever - so I always insist on paying for my drink.]

Anyhoo, weirdness of interfaces can be found everywhere. Just today, I was trying to log into a website, and the website authors had put the login button in a popup that disappeared when you hovered over it. Presumably it was meant to go away if you didn't click on it, but the actual effect was, you couldn't log in on the company's home page and had to hunt through pages to find a login button that was a real button.

As another example, the interface for AT&T's voicemail in my area recently changed. Instead of saying "end of message" and giving you an opportunity to delete a message, it just goes straight to "saving message", which means if you got a spam call which hung up rapidly - and silently - there's no way to delete the message before it gets saved. If you try, it will delete the next message in your messages. So this "update" is strictly worse than the previous interface, making you hear each message a minimum of twice.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say here is, don't fall in love with your new interface before thinking through - and testing out - how people will actually use it, OR, as we used to say back in my day:

Old man rants at cloud.

-the centaur

not dead …

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... but ICRA, Con Carolinas, and CVPR are all now over, so I can breathe again.

More in a bit as I start to dig myself out of the piles ....

-the Centaur

Pictured: Bacon Turkey Bravo and Strawberry Poppyseed with Chicken Salad, at Panera, my fave lunch.