{"id":297,"date":"2006-04-11T00:29:00","date_gmt":"2006-04-11T00:29:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.dresan.com\/blog\/?p=297"},"modified":"2006-04-11T00:29:00","modified_gmt":"2006-04-11T00:29:00","slug":"the-tragic-saga-of-mr-kool-aid-man","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dresan.com\/blog\/2006\/04\/11\/the-tragic-saga-of-mr-kool-aid-man\/","title":{"rendered":"The Tragic Saga of Mr. Kool-Aid Man"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>What I find on the Internet sometimes scares me.<\/p>\n<p>You&#8217;ve all heard of <a href=\"http:\/\/www.kraft.com\/100\/innovations\/koolaidman.html\">Mr. Kool-Aid Man<\/a>, yes?  An American icon, yes, a true hero of the soft drink generation.  But few know about his turn to the dark side and the role the X-Men and the A-Team have played fighting his growing threat.<\/p>\n<p>Of course, Mr. Kool-Aid man has been <a href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Jonestown#Popular_culture\">accused of malfeasance before<\/a>, but it was actually a case of <a href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Flavor_Aid\">mistaken identity<\/a> &#8230; if you believe the House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence&#8217;s official report, that is. <\/p>\n<p>His true followers never deserted him, however, and Mr. Kool-Aid Man had only recently begun to return to public life when the Perry Bible Fellowship news broke the story of how he fell victim to mob violence(click on <a href=\"http:\/\/cheston.com\/pbf\/archive.html\">&#8220;Kids are Thirsty&#8221;<\/a>). The horrifying true reality of how this warped his mind was revealed by our reporters at Applegeeks: <a href=\"http:\/\/www.applegeeks.com\/comic_archive\/viewcomic.php?issue=187\">&#8220;Oh Yeah&#8221;<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Fortunately, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.geocities.com\/Area51\/Quadrant\/6459\/versus2.html\">Mr. T<\/a> and <a href=\"http:\/\/wolverine.x-knights.com\/fanfiction37a.html\">Wolverine<\/a> have joined forces to fight short and not entirely too well told battles to prevent Mr. Kool-Aid Man&#8217;s evil from spilling out into the streets.<\/p>\n<p>We don&#8217;t yet know how this battle turned out.  However, you&#8217;ll read about it in the Weekly World News.  And nowhere else.<\/p>\n<p>-the Centaur<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What I find on the Internet sometimes scares me. You&#8217;ve all heard of Mr. Kool-Aid Man, yes? An American icon, yes, a true hero of the soft drink generation. But&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-297","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","ratio-2-1","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dresan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/297","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dresan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dresan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dresan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dresan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=297"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dresan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/297\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dresan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=297"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dresan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=297"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dresan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=297"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}