I apparently started writing before Warren Ellis did. The bastard’s only one year older than me, and his bibliography warrants its own Wikipedia page, whereas I have one (1) published short story.
Yes, yes, I know, I was busy getting a Ph.D. in Artificial Intelligence while Warren Ellis was pulling his fingernails out trying to climb the walls of the unholy well that is Marvel Comics. I don’t care. I see this as just another sign that his insane writing skills are a result of a deal with Cthulhu or the Devil.
I mean to track this walking abomination down, pin him to the wall, and get him to confess what deal he made, with whom, and whether it’s still open. I mean, my soul is not for sale, but we’re just talking some temp contract work for tentacular star-spawn in exchange for the preternatural ability to sway the minds of men with the written word, hey, maybe we can work something out.
-the Centaur
P.S. Actually, Mr. Ellis, I have no intention of tracking you down. First off, as a Christian I can’t do any soultrading; second, I’m afraid if I actually met you it would be too much like Death meeting Alan Moore.
