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It’s an Anger Problem, Not an Anger Management Problem

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Periodically I say something like this to my wife: “Excuse me, I’m going to go take this piece of electronic equipment outside and smash it with the baseball bat.” I say it politely, generally with a piece of already-broken electronic equipment in my hand, right after I’ve spent a couple of hours trying to make it work and definitively failing, and right before I grab the baseball bat, head out the front door, and smash the thing to blithereens on our driveway.

Because what I have is an anger problem, not an anger management problem.

I get really angry. A lot. I regularly scream into the dashboard of my car as my hands clench or beat the steering wheel, raging about the crazy of the day. Sometimes I get hoarse doing that, even hurt my voice. But other than occasionally hurting my voice, I never take it out on people - not anymore. My wife actually says she finds it hard to believe that I have an anger problem, because I so rarely show it. And to me that’s the difference between an anger problem and an anger management problem - whether you take it out on others or not.

Personally, I’d rather not get angry, and I think the degree to which I do get angry is the problem - like David Banner says, that’s my secret: I’m always angry. But I’ve also grown to think about anger like Stephen Covey - anger is an alarm, a signal that something’s wrong, and the first thing you do with an alarm is to turn it off and deal with the problem.

I didn’t used to have that resource available to me. I’ve knocked pieces from a chessboard, stormed out of a Risk game, yelled at people, gotten into fights, even smashed important computer equipment. When playing the raconteur I always like to exaggerate, to tell the true story about punching one of my best friends in the face - twice - and now I can add to that kicking another friend in the face - but the problem with all of those is that they were accidents, so they don’t tell the truth as much as, say, mentioning that I’ve ripped off my Android watch three times in the last year because it was so annoying.

But even that’s a part of the management, not the problem. The Android watch-toss generally happens when I’m driving, when it’s firing some alert and won’t stop, and I need to pay attention to the road - so I toss it off so I can focus on driving, not dying. One day, if it gets too annoying when I’m driving, I may tear it off and toss it out the window, but if so, I won’t look back - because as much as that’s an expression of anger, it’s also something that I’ve calculated in advance, a deliberate choice that if this little widget distracts me too much when I’m driving a ton of car at three times the speed human beings were designed for, it’s time for the widget to go.

So the anger is still there, but under control. I no longer smash cordless phones or toss cell phones, unless I’ve determined the device is actually a loss, and then, heck, I’ll give it a go, or pull out the baseball bat. Supposedly the cathartic theory of anger isn’t any good, that screaming or smashing plates will, rather than releasing your anger, actually make it worse; however, it certainly does feel good to just get that anger out and to move on.

But I had to spend fifteen minutes fixing a bent pin in my watch after the last watch-toss, and I really don’t like the pain in my throat after yelling in the car - and I still remember smashing those pieces from the chessboard, thirty-five years later, with a little bit of shame. So I know I have an anger problem - but one thing I’ve committed to is making sure I manage it.

-the Centaur

Postscript: Since this was written, I sat down with my wife to fix a problem with her Audible account after she moved to a new computer. During this process, we found out that Audible employees had NOT, as they had previously claimed, successfully fixed a problem that we’d had with her books when she accidentally got a second account - to the tune of a lost $500 in books - and THEN we found out that Audible employees had lied to her about whether she actually owned the books she downloaded, to the tune of $17,000 dollars in books encumbered with DRM that makes them effectively a rental, not ownership. My wife got so angry about this she had to take a walk. Me? I got angry because I spent two and half hours trying to resolve a problem which should have taken fifteen minutes, so angry at the end, when a error in Google’s interface repeatedly thwarted me trying to execute a simple search, that I wanted to smash my hand against the glass desk. My wife raised her hand to stop me, but I just said, “Don’t,” and then lowered my hands to the desk, took a deep breath, switched to Bing to resolve the problem. I then spent the next half hour calming my wife down about the horrible state of DRM in this country and how Audible employees lied to fuck her over. (And I was in on the call; they did lie - as my wife put it, they said whatever they had to to get her to enter her credit card number). In the end, I had calmed my wife down, I had found a solution for her problem, and I had not put my hand through a desk made of glass.

Scorecard: anger, zero; anger management, one.

Pictured: My first 3D printed model. It didn’t turn out so well. I did not, in fact, smash it, despite several hours of frustration.

Excuse Me, I Ordered the Large Box

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So what you see is a gift, a gift from my wife and myself’s, our gift to her sister and her husband, a gift given on the occasion of their 20th anniversary, a gift, by necessity, wrapped in a very, very large box. I think this is the largest single item that either of us have ever had to ship, other than perhaps a car - and other people did that for us. What is this gift? It’s “Petrified Coral”:

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For scale, it’s the artwork you see on this wall:

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This “Petrified Coral” piece is one of a series that Sandi’s done - one I own:

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Sandi worked on a third one, but it didn’t work out the way she wanted, so she mutated it into another piece.

With art this large, normal market forces start to break down. Regardless of what YOU want to pay for it, there’s a certain minimum amount that it costs to ship it, even to store it, so if you’re not willing to pay for it, you can’t play. Worse, Sandi likes working in this scale, but getting good at this scale requires working in this scale, so she’s got to store a lot of large pieces.

We’re happy to give "Petrified Coral 2” to Sandi’s sister, but we’re also taking this as an exercise in finding out how to ship these large pieces efficiently. The normal USPS or FedEx route seems too expensive, and not even Greyhound could fit it (yes, they ship). But people solve this problem, so we’re doing the research now.
If successful, then I’m sure Sandi would be happy to ship a large artwork to YOU.

(But not Petrified Coral 1. That one’s MINE.)
-the Centaur

That Sock Drawer

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What to do with the stories in your sock drawer?

For those of you who don’t know, the “sock drawer” is where short stories go to die, named after the place you file manuscripts away after you’ve exhausted your efforts to sell, edit, or burn them. Stories go through a life cycle:

  1. You Get the Idea: Sometimes, this is no more than a title. Most people stop here.
  2. You Start the Draft: You actually start writing! Most people never get here.
  3. You Finish the Draft! Most people who get to Stage 2 never get to Stage 3. Believe it or not, this is the hardest part.
  4. You Edit the Draft! Some people get stuck forever here, or skip this entirely, like bloggers. :-)
  5. You Let Other People See It! I call this the ”beta” stage because I generally don’t let people see stuff until I’ve edited it.
  6. You Send It Out! You send the story or novel out for publication.
  7. It’s Accepted Right Away! Editors ALWAYS accept stories, right?
  8. ???
  9. Profit!

Actually, MOST of the time markets don’t accept what you send them. From what you see above, it seems like I’ve got a pretty good acceptance rate, but that’s actually counting by stories. If we instead look at how many times I sent them out:

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Yeah. And even that’s a bit exaggerated, since I get invited to write a lot of stories, so if i was to tease the data apart to look at my cold-call rejection rate, I would get very depressed. So really there are a few more stages which can happen after you send things out:
  • You Keep Circulating Your Work: If first you don’t succeed, try the next magazine or site on the list.
  • You Revise Your Work: A clever editor’s comment, or more insight, leads you to rework your story. Go back to Step 4.
  • You Get Stuck: You don’t know how to fix your work, but aren’t ready to give up yet. You’re essentially at Step 3.
  • You Give Up: You convince yourself the work can’t be fixed … and dump it in your sock drawer.

As you saw from the first diagram, I’ve got a small handful of stories in my sock drawer … not that I’ll never think of going back to them, but if so, it will probably be a ground-up rewrite harvesting the manuscript for whatever good ideas I’ve got. But I also have a larger tranche of stories I haven’t quite given up on yet, ones I think I can salvage, but which aren’t as important as my novels.

But if I’m not working on them, are they in the sock drawer, or not? Some of those stories went out to a dozen or more places and got as many rejections. Others I sent to one or two places, or nowhere. And if I read them again, what would I think? Is it worth going back to them? If it’s a choice between working on Dakota Frost, Cinnamon Frost, Jeremiah Willstone, or Serendipity the Centaur, I’m going to choose one of them over a short story I wrote back in 2001.

So why am I digging back at the boundary of Stalled and the Sock Drawer?

Recently, a friend told me about a short story submission deadline that was closing fast. I looked at my list of stories I’ve sent out to find one to send … but I’ve gotten much better at sending out my work, so, surprisingly, I didn’t have anything to send. So I had a choice: let the deadline pass … or find my best unpublished story and send it out.

I actually do have 2 or 3 stories on my shortlist of “this story is really good, but it never made it” but I want to edit these before I send them out again, so I thought about letting the deadline pass. Then I realized that if I never go back to those stories, I might as well consider them dead. I always mean to revise them - I have a folder of comments and notes on them - but somehow I never get around to it. So I needed to commit: lob the lot into the sock drawer, or take action.

I found the best of these that fit within the word count limits of the magazine. Then I reformatted it according to William Shunn’s manuscript guidelines, to give it the best chance for success. The very act of reformatting it gave me a new eye on the story … and I realized that inside that 10,000 word manuscript was a great 8,000 word story screaming to get out.

I didn’t have time to make those changes before the deadline. I did a quick edit, I fixed a few minor warts … and I sent it out.

If they like it, hopefully by the time they get back to me, I’ll have a great edit ready.

If not … I’ll have a great edit ready for someone else.

In the meantime, I added a tick to the count of Circulating Stories in the following graph...

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… and blogging about it added a tick to this graph:

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Since I’ve seen, and done the alternative … sitting on stories forever ... I think this is was the “write" thing to do.

-the Centaur

Play on Words San Jose

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Play on Words is a great event which features short fiction performed by actors in front of a live audience. I’ve attended a couple of them since several of my fellows in Thinking Ink Press and the Write to the End group got their works performed at Play on Words.

Wednesday night, the Play on Words troupe performed short fiction by Keiko O’Leary, Betsy Miller and Marilyn Horn-Fahey; if you have a time machine, set the wayback to 7pm at Cafe Stritch (which incidentally has great jambalaya!), or, if your navigation circuit’s knackered, check out the live stream provided courtesy of South Bay Pulse magazine.

If you don’t have a time machine, there’s always YouTube! Find the link here.

And check it out! Next one is about three months out.

-the Centaur

Best Laid Plans Sometimes Must Be Set Aside

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So I started off this year with all sorts of big plans - blogging every day, hitting the ground running at work - and it’s kind of funny to stumble so close to the starting gate. I missed blogging yesterday, and I missed today at work entirely due to bleah.

But things happen for a reason, I think; the world looks deterministic and impersonal down at the level of the laws of physics, but there’s a structure to it at a higher level which, if not real, is at least something we can take advantage of.

Case in point one: I’ve been pushing hard to finish a revision to the first chapters of my novel, THE CLOCKWORK TIME MACHINE, but it’s slow going as I’ve had to rethink my whole approach to the book. Digging through my other Jeremiah material for inspiration, I found an almost-finished novella, which my obssessive-compulsive tendencies sucked me into trying to finish. (Procrastinating on one project with another project is worth further discussion, I think, but that’s another blogpost for another time, if I haven’t already blogged on it, that is). But I made myself stop after I took a pass, and tried to tackle my daily blogpost.

At which point a friend dropped by to talk. I was at Coupa Cafe, a hot spot for great Venezuelan coffee and Silicon Valley’s startup culture, which isn’t just about startups, but is actually a hotbed for intellectual discussion. In thirty short minutes, my buddy and I dove far into the intricacies of deep learning, something which affects me a lot at work - and just as that was winding down, one of his other friends dropped in, and started quizzing me about the mathematics in my urban fantasy novels. Turns out he’s an expert in precisely the same areas of mathematics that my young protagonist Cinnamon Frost is - so I see more conversations in our future.

Definitively, that conversation was worth more than the schedule of my blogposts, so it was the right thing to do to fully engage with the human beings right in front of me rather than sticking mechanically to my plan. It’s really important to take advantage of these opportunities and to capitalize on them when they happen. That’s what this world is structured for.

Now, I’m not sure how I’m supposed to capitalize on catching my wife’s flu and waking up feeling like someone pummeled me with a half ton of bricks, but I’m sure there’s some lesson or opportunity in there. At least I … uh, dunno, got to drop off my dry cleaning on my way to the local restaurant for some hot chicken soup? Not sure what’s the lesson in there. (Though it’s probably a sign that I need to sit down with my laptop and catch up on writing documentation, which I can easily do from home).

-the Centaur

Building Inventory

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I’m taking on a new writing project - posting once a day on this blog this year - and, naturally, the first thing I open when i start a writing project - after Word or Ecto, to write the text - is Microsoft Excel, to track what I’m doing. Maybe that’s a sign of my so-called “left brain analytical tendencies” (NOTE: the left brained / right brained nonsense is a MYTH, used here for entertainment value only); after all, Quentin Tarantino once said “you can’t write poetry on a computer” and I doubt he spins up Excel on his yellow notepads. But a lot of successful cartoonists I know, like Bill Holbrook of Kevin and Kell, got their start on their most successful projects by getting an inventory - a month or two of backlog that they could use to prevent themselves from getting behind, and the only way I know to get that far ahead is to actually track what you’re doing.

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It’s been a useful exercise so far. I found about half dozen old blog posts that never got posted (some quite stale now) and found many other ideas popping to mind just by writing them down. I also realized the limits of my Excel-fu, as the nice diagrams I generate for my Nanowrimo progress are actually the outcome of a lot of careful tweaking which I can’t easily replicate quickly.

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But the exercise is really helpful. Just like all the other things in my life I’ve gotten more disciplined about tracking - my Nanowrimo progress, my word count, my short stories, my TODOs, my office piles - I’ve found great benefits come quickly, and it brings clarity, focus … and a great feeling of relief when you hit Save and are one more unit ahead of the onrushing wolf.

-the Centaur

The Benefits of Social Support

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One of the things I’ve noticed is that its a lot easier to do things with social support. "Back in the day we used to call that peer pressure, son.” - but not so fast, Tex; hold on. When you try to do something for yourself, by yourself, it’s easier to give up; but when you involve another person, it’s far easier to hold yourself accountable.

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Now, I think there’s some actual scientific studies on this, but that’s not what I’m referring to: I think I have directly observed this in my own life. You are the easiest person to fool, of course, but I am trained as a scientist, which means, in part, that I observe the world, that I record what I observe, and I analyze it, looking for patterns. And above, you can see that the only two times I failed at a National Novel Writing Month like challenge were the two months I didn’t do it with the social support of the formal challenges - when I tried it in the off months of August and December.

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The same thing happened this year: my December writing, which I’ve consciously tried to keep up each day, has in truth been quite spotty. Now, there are vacations, holidays, and the year end crunch in there, but it’s surprising that I got so little done - and perhaps NOT surprising that the days I did best were the regular writing group days of the 29th, the 22nd, the 15th, the 8th, and the 2nd (at least best compared to the days immediately around them; the 22nd was thin).

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So I got a little over 1/5th of the writing done in December than my typical November (and a lot less than in this previous November, which was epic). Perhaps that’s because in Nano I’m writing new material, and in December I also edit, but still, the social support - a group of peers who are trying to accomplish the same goal - really seems to help.

My wife and I have noticed the same thing at the gym; so has my friend Gordon. Jim Davies and Lou Fasulo do the same thing with their epic New Year’s resolutions. Agile development is a mixed bag at best and active, harmful voodoo at worst, but its daily standups nonetheless have the same kind of social effect.

So if you want to do something … consider finding a friend who wants to do it too.

-the Centaur

Solomon’s Baby at 365 Tomorrows

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My flash fiction short, “Solomon’s Baby”, is going to be published soon in 365 Tomorrows, a daily magazine of flash fiction. By my count, this is my 13th accepted short story, and will likely be the 11th published (as I have 2 in the queue at the forthcoming anthology 30 DAYS LATER). As I’ve said before, this just goes to show that if you write, if you finish what you write, and you send out what you write, you’re much more likely to get published than if you stare sadly at the manuscripts at the bottom of your sock drawer muttering “if only … if only” as you slowly scoop shovels of chocolate ice cream into your mouth with a dull spoon. But hey! Your mileage may vary, so if that works for you, knock yourself out (or at least give yourself a great ice cream headache).

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-the Centaur

Welcome to 2016

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Hi, I’m Anthony! I love to write books and eat food, activities that I power by fiddling with computers. Welcome to 2016! It’s a year. I hope it’s a good one, but hope is not a strategy, so here’s what I’m going to do to make 2016 better for you.

First, I’m writing books. I’ve got a nearly-complete manuscript of a steampunk novel JEREMIAH WILLSTONE AND THE CLOCKWORK TIME MACHINE which I’m wrangling with the very excellent editor Debra Dixon at Bell Bridge Books. God willing, you’ll see this come out this year. Jeremiah appears in a lot of short stories in the anthologies UnCONventional, 12 HOURS LATER, and 30 DAYS LATER - more on that one in a bit.

I also have completed drafts of the urban fantasy novels SPECTRAL IRON and HEX CODE, starring Dakota Frost and her adopted daughter Cinnamon Frost, respectively. If you like magical tattoos, precocious weretigers, and the trouble they can get into, look for these books coming soon - or check out FROST MOON, BLOOD ROCK and LIQUID FIRE, the first three Dakota books. (They’re all still on sale, by the way).

Second, I’m publishing books. I and some author/artist friends in the Bay Area founded Thinking Ink Press, and we are publishing the steampunk anthology 30 DAYS LATER edited by Belinda Sikes, AJ Sikes and Dover Whitecliff. We’re hoping to also re-release their earlier anthology 12 HOURS LATER; both of these were done for the Clockwork Alchemy conference, and we’re proud to have them.

We’re also publishing a lot more - FlashCards and InstantBooks and SnapBooks and possibly even a reprint of a novel which recently went out of print. Go to Thinking Ink Press for more news; for things I’m an editor/author on I’ll also announce them here.

Third, I’m doing more computing. Cinnamon Frost is supposed to be a mathematical genius, so to simulate her thought process I write computer programs (no joke). I’ve written up some few articles on this for publication on this blog, and hope to do more over the year to come.

Fourth, I’m going to keep doing art. Most of my art is done in preparation for either book frontispieces or for 24-Hour Comics Day, but I’m going to step that up a bit this year - I have to, if I’m going to get (ulp) three frontispieces done over the next year. Must draw faster!

Finally, I’m going to blog more. I’m already doing it, right now, but one way I’m trying to get ahead is to write two blog posts at a time, publishing one and saving one in reserve. This way I can keep getting ahead, but if I fall behind I’ve got some backlog to fall back on. I feel hounded by all the ideas in my head, so I’m going to loose them on all of you.

As for New Year’s Resolutions? Fah. I could say “exercise more, blog every day, and clean up the piles of papers” but we all know New Year’s Resolution’s are a joke, unless your name is Jim Davies, in which case they’re performance art.

SO ANYWAY, 2016. It’s going to be a year. I hope we can make it a great one!

-the Centaur

Pictured: The bookshelves of Cafe Intermezzo in the Atlanta airport, one place where I like to write books and eat food.

Some Years Are Better Than Others, Aren’t They?

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20151225_202334-ANIMATION.gif 1995 was one of the best years of my life: I got engaged, I published my first scientific paper, and I published my first short story. All that gave me a great feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment, but that happiness was short lived: that engagement ultimately disintegrated, my PhD dragged on, and I didn’t publish another short story for years. r1d1-vertical.jpg Now, there were great sparks in there - successive internships at CMU in Pittsburgh in 1996, SRI in the Bay Area in 1997 and Yamaha in Japan in 1998 - but I didn’t really start feeling great until 1999, when my thesis advisor started an internet startup with me and one of his graduate students - Enkia, my first taste of the inside of a healthy startup. e_400x400.jpg But the dotcom crash happened and everything got acrimonious (as things do when external factors turn sour, since people are no longer glossing over problems that didn’t bother them before) and my father grew gravely ill and we all agreed it was better to part ways, so that happy time evaporated too. I don’t even really have good pictures of this time, not digital ones. gigeresque_full.jpg The pattern repeats - ups and downs, good times and bad, a few really so-so jobs with really nice people, meeting my wonderful fiancee and having a terrible-post wedding experience with my mother, and so on, and so on. It’s really easy to focus on the bad, sometimes, to think of all the things that have gone wrong. 20150918_114445.jpg This year was no different: loss of the family matriarch, extreme disruption at work (I lost 2 SVPs, 2 directors, 2 bosses and 2 teams in the last year to other-than-normal churn) and the delay of my latest novel, the CLOCKWORK TIME MACHINE. But at the same time, I had a great novel published - LIQUID FIRE - found a wonderful new team, and had a great time with friends and family. 20151227_004919.jpg You know what? Crap happens. But wonderful things happen to. And the way that we choose to take things affects what we get out of them. If you focus on all the bad stuff, you may end up feeling like your life is in the shitter. But if you take the time out to appreciate the good things as they happen, to share them with friends and family, and to remember them … 20151212_203149.jpg … you might find everything really did turn out all right. 20151213_113525.jpg -the Centaur

Merry Christmas

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Merry Christmas! Isn’t it great that we made it to another one with the Earth still circling the Sun? After all the stresses and strains of the past year, it’s really good to get together with friends and family to celebrate this holiday. But what’s the reason for the season? Why are we doing this? As a Christian, I didn’t just get exposed to Santa and Christmas trees, but also to a lot of irate people convinced that we were missing the point - that the reason for the season was to celebrate the birthday of Jesus?

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But why did he come to the Earth? To bring hope! Easter is when we celebrate Jesus’s death, sacrifice, and role in our salvation, but Christmas is when we celebrate our hope, his arrival, and the beginning of his message of hope and forgiveness on Earth. Whether you’re a Christian or not, Jesus’s message that we should forgive each other, forgive ourselves and start life fresh is perennial - it’s worthy of celebrating again and again - which liturgical churches do every Advent.

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But church rituals often seem disconnected from everyday lives because they’re held in special, sacred places. Christians aren’t just followers of Christ; we’re also ritual people, people who perform traditions again and again - each day, each week, each season, each year - to help remind us what’s important in our lives. So it isn’t surprising that we’ve found ways of bringing those rituals out of the sanctuaries and into our homes.

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The exchange of gifts can seem to be crass commercialism … but it’s also a reminder to each other that we care, a chance to do something nice for our friends and family, and if we really think about a gift, an opportunity to learn about each other and discover what really matters to our loved ones. Shared meals give us not just a chance to celebrate our success, but to get together with loved ones and share our stories, our companionship, and a few hours of our lives.

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Not everyone is fortunate over Christmas, and not everyone enjoys the season. So take a moment to do something for someone who needs a little lift, respect people who need a little distance, but above all, take a moment out to remember why we’re celebrating the season: to commemorate Jesus’s message of hope and forgiveness, and to share moments with the friends and family that we love.

-the Centaur

How to Be a Better Writer (the Short Version)

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Recently a colleague asked me if I had any advice on being a better writer. I thought I’d posted about that, but it appears that I hadn’t, so I tried writing up my thoughts. That was too much, so I summarized. That was too much, so I summarized it AGAIN. And then it was short enough to share with you:

The super short version is to be a better writer, just write!

I often recommend morning pages - writing three pages about random topics at the start of your day, even "bla bla bla" if you have to - you'll get tired of writing “bla bla bla" quickly, and this will help cure you of the feeling you need to wait for your muse.

This advice comes from the book The Artist's Way, which is a great course to take; I also recommend Strunk and White's The Elements of Style and Brooks Landon's Building Great Sentences on grammar and style, Ayn Rand's The Art of Fiction and The Art of Nonfiction on writing and structure, and The Elements of Editing and Self-Editing for Fiction Writers on editing.

I also recommend that you read a lot more than you write, especially writing of the kind you want to emulate; take a look at it and see what makes it tick.

For fiction and other similar writing I recommend finding a writing group first, not a critique group; there are several good ones in the Bay Area including Write to the End and Shut Up and Write.

For the kind of internal communications you're talking about, you might try looking at marketing and documentation literature or the great writers internally that you admire - also popular writers, technical and nontechnical, in the computer field.

As for blogging, my recommendation is to just blog - try to do it regularly, at least once a week or so, about whatever comes to your mind, so that you create both a growing store of content - and again, a habit that helps you just write.


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I’ll try to expand on these recommendations, but if I had to boil it down even further, I’d say: just write!

-the Centaur

FROST MOON On Sale on Amazon!

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Like magic? Like tattooing? Like werewolves? Like feisty magical tattoo artist fighting off a charming rogue werewolf suitor with a stick, while the two of them might just be prey to a serial killer targeting the magically tattooed? Well, if so, you are in luck, because the first book in the Dakota Frost, Skindancer series, FROST MOON, is now on sale on Amazon!

  • FROST MOON - werewolves and magic tattoos and serial killers, oh my! for $1.99
  • BLOOD ROCK - vampires and magic graffiti and magic arson, oh noes! for $4.61
  • LIQUID FIRE - dragons and firespinning and fire ninjas, my goodness! for $1.99

I’m hard at work at Book 4, SPECTRAL IRON, and Book 5, PHANTOM SILVER, and even a spinoff series starring Dakota Frost’s adoptive daughter, Cinnamon Frost, starting with the book provisionally titled HEX CODE. So if you read these, I plan on having a lot more where that was coming from! I hope you enjoy!

-the Centaur


Eight Hundred Fifty Thousand Words

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So another Nanowrimo draws to a close. The title says HEX CODE, but today’s writing was finishing out a few details in scenes in BOT NET (the second part of the Spellpunk trilogy manuscript I’m working on) and then a new beginning for ROOT USER (book 3). That new beginning, which played out a scene I’ve had in my head a long time, was very easy to write.

“That’s a damn shame,” says a distant voice, “so large an animal, in so small a cage.”


Muzzily, I grogs awake. What the fuck? Can’t they see I’m sleepin’? But then the words they’ve spoken starts to set in, balls in a Pachinko machine, rattlin’ in through the Pascal’s Triangle patterns in my brain to rack up a score of maximum annoyance.


The cage, you see, is large, for its type—a safety cage. Eight by thirty, made of elaborate wrought-iron vines, fashioned special from a welder we knows in Little Five Points, the safety cage is the largest and nicest I’ve ever been in—and the largest we could fit on our front porch.


The porch is big, and Southern, in front of a house big, and Southern, a third of the way down Fairview from Moreland, not three blocks from L5P. Pretty big even by Atlanta standards, but county code sez leave the front door unblocked, so thirty feet wide is was the cage limit.


Not that it feels limiting; there’s lamps and books and ferns and an ahw-SOOOME sectional sofa we found at an outdoor patio store, which stretches almost from the porch door on the left to the <regulation width with code #> stair down to my den.


It’s a full fourteen feet of sofa, fully twelve feet of it usable—which is a good thing, because stretched over it right now, covering just about its full length this very instant, is the enormous animal that the annoying interpopers have named.


Me.

That’s why the last day of Nano has that spike: let your inspiration flow!

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That brought me to over 65,000 words, the most I’ve done in Nano, as far as I know, ever:

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SO I have a new record to beat. But I also cracked 700,000 words on my spreadsheet … which means, since I’ve done Nano at least three times before, my total Nano total is 850,000 words.

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I feel pretty happy about that. Nano has brought so many creative ideas to the table, I can’t even begin to describe it. Easily a half dozen completely new ideas came to me this month - one even within the final writing session just before midnight tonight. I have to credit Nano for giving me this inspiration.

Now, onward to the next round of edits on THE CLOCKWORK TIME MACHINE … and the 50,000 other projects I’ve been putting off, like my library … though I *might* take out a little time to play a video game, or, perhaps, read a book … you never know ...

-the Centaur

Perhaps I Spoke Too Soon …

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… when I claimed Scott Adams appeared to be right on the question of Donald Trump’s supposed meltdown. Scott, as you recall, claimed this was part of an elaborate three dimensional game of chess designed to trounce Carson, whereas I was claiming that Trump was possibly sabotaging his own campaign. Trump’s initial bounce and Carson’s stumble led me to award this to Adams.

Since then, Trump has publicly mocked a handicapped reporter, and demanded CNN cough up five million dollars to appear at the next debate. My predictive filter says Trump’s doing more self-sabotage. Scott’s filter says Trump will suffer a slight dip, then increase in the polls. Trump is actually just increasing in the polls, no dip. So, um, advantage to Scott, me, randomness?

My high school history teacher’s predictive filter would say, “Populist demagogues are always popular.”

Your predictive mileage may vary.

-the Centaur

Recordbreaking

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So today I passed my all-time record (for as long as I’ve kept records) at Nano, completing 60,900 words at Nanowrimo. The key I think is not just taking this week off, not just keeping going, but daydreaming about my characters—then, whenever I get inspired, writing that scene. Almost all of the huge spurts you see below came out of that:

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Today, it was pretty easy to write. I got about 500 words finishing up a few loose ends. Then I wrote a longer scene with Cinnamon and her fae mentor the Huntswoman, and almost a day’s worth of writing popped out of my keyboard. Then I decided to write another scene, one from ROOT USER (the third book in the trilogy, of the large manuscript I’m working on) and got 2000 words in about 30 minutes (!), all from choosing to write this:

But no matter how I tries to ignore it … I can’t ignore what they says next.


“And if they lose a hunt,” the jerkboy says, “guess what? They eat the loser—”


“You take that back!” I shouts, poppin’ to my feet. I hops over the nearest table and barrels down on the boy, who’s hoppin’ to his feet as well, his buddies standin’ to come to his aid, actin’ like I’m neither a girl he should play nice with nor a monster who could rip his throat out. “You take that back this instant!”


“What?” the boy says, eyes gleaming at me. “The part where they eat the loser—”


“We are not cannibals!” I screeches, snarlin,’ my whiskers comin’ in, my fur comin’ out.


“I bet she’s eaten her share,” one of the other boys says. “Like, weregazelles and shit—”


“The herbivores are our friends! We runs together! Nobody eats nobody on my hunt!”


“Your hunt,” he says. Everyone’s circled around us now, the boy standin’ out front. He’s big, so, I guesses, he guesses he can take me in a fight. Good fuckin’ luck. He grins with a nasty smile. “Like anyone would follow you—”


“I had twelve followin’ me on my last hunt,” I says. “Thirteen, actually—”


“I thought you could count,” he says. “What, you lose one? Eat one?”


I snarls and steps forward, and he leans back, fists up. I raises mine.


Then I turns away. “Not worth it,” I mutters, lookin’ at the huge crowd around us. He swings and clocks me behind the ear, and I kinda shrugs and shakes him off. “Not worth it at all,” I mutters, boltin’ through the crowd, walkin’ fast towards the exit. “At all—”


“Where are you going, Miss Frost,” says the proctor.


“The deans’s office,” I says. “I just picked a fight.”


“Wait just a minute,” he says, hand reachin’ for me, but I shrugs him off.


“Get off me, or I go to the safety cage,” I says, snarlin. “And call for my Mom.”


“Yeah, call your mother,” says the jerkboy, who followed me.

“Christopher, I see your mouth is open,” the proctor says coolly. “Close it.”

And the scene which follows, in which Cinnamon goes to see the Dean of the Claremont Academy, who’s more cool than even I anticipated — I mean, drill sergeant in a former life? Really? Makes sense. And helped me crack 60,000 words:

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But the point is, never give up on Nano. It will continue to reward you, all the way to the end.

-the Centaur

Giving Thanks for a Post-Nano Surge

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I normally take off the week of Thanksgiving to finish Nanowrimo, and if you look at the stack of seven hundred thousand words that I’ve written in Nanowrimos, you can see the surge there clearly. (I bet it would be even more clear if I only counted the November Nanos, but I’m doing this graph in Excel, not Mathematica or Processing or R, so sue me for laziness).


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But even so, it’s easy to see (if you are me) that I’m perilously close to beating my all time record for November, set in 2010 with THE CLOCKWORK TIME MACHINE with 60,164 words. And there ARE four days of Nano left, so I just may keep pushing on. My record per day that I’ve kept records is over 7000 words (almost certainly the mad scramble to finish LIQUID FIRE in 2009 after getting edits on BLOOD ROCK early in the month), so that’s easily doable. And my average for these four days is close to 4000 words. One year I even made 5300 words today, on the 27th, so keep your fingers crossed.

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But as much as I like to take this week off - as much as antisocial me doesn’t want to accumulate obligations on my time, which I freely admit made the first half of this week miserable from the temporal anticipation - I really do enjoy hanging out with my friends and family, and even though I don’t get the chance to fly home to see my blood family over this holiday, I loved having the chance to get together at the house of my “brother from another mother” and his wife and to join them on their Thanksgiving.

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Family, friends, and good times aren’t the only important things in life. But they sure do make life a lot better.

-the Centaur

Viiictory the Thirteenth

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At last, I’ve completed my 15th National Novel Writing Month challenge successfully! Victory, for the thirteenth time!

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The graph says “HEX CODE”, but as I’ve said before, I discovered in July’s Nano that the manuscript I was working on was actually a trilogy - I already knew that Cinnamon appeared in a trilogy of books called HEX CODE, BOT NET and ROOT USER, but I was puzzled as to why the HEX CODE manuscript seemed both so cramped and so overstuffed. The reason? I was already writing the trilogy, with a discernible “hex code” appearing first, followed by a “bot net” then a “root user”. So I split the manuscript up … and just kept writing, until, earlier this month, I rolled over the end of HEX CODE.


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Perhaps that’s why I was doing so well this year, or perhaps it’s because I’ve written almost seven hundred thousand words in National Novel Writing months at this point. But regardless, I had some real bursts of creativity in there. But even then, I have to tell you: it was always hard. The hardest words on this one were the last 8 … when I thought I was done. But you have to keep going! And the scene that popped out after that is beautiful.

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Regardless, National Novel Writing Month is a joy to participate in, and I’m glad to have done it. The people and the connections I’ve made, the friendships I’ve built, the fantastic events like the Night of Writing Dangerously, the great writing programs that Nano supports, and the worldwide outbursts of creativity have made it all so worthwhile I plan to do it again and again.

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So, for now, I leave you with one last excerpt, from BOT NET … containing something I learned about my world of werekindred tonight, when I had to write … and let my creativity take over. As always, excerpts from Nano are first draft material, so, consider yourself advised … but I love what I discovered about Cinnamon’s warehouse tonight.

I looks down at them. All their eyes are glowin. The moon’s gotten into them. It will be up soon. I gots to go take them runnin’ now, or they’ll go crazy. I stands before them, rearin’ up a little, puffin’ my tiger cheeks, lookin’ down at them, and they gets the hint, and steps back from the wall, towards me, towards me, the tiger.

“Alrright,” I snarls. “None of ya get killed, or, as Mom would say, you’re grrrounded. ”

They all laughs, and I grins and stamps a paw.

“You feel the moon?” I says.

“We feel the moon!” they all shouts back. Whoa. Better response then I expected.

“I said, do you feel the moon!” I roars.

“We feel the moon!” the hunt screams.

“Then show me your beasts!” I snarls.

The lawyer strips off his jacket, his shirt, snarling, his head poppin’ out wolf so fast even Tully would have been proud of it. Hanser is a lynx before I’ve gotten a chance to look over at her, and the rest are poppin’ and changing. One buck is havin’ trouble, horns comin’ out of his head, fur crawlin’ over his body, but still no quad form, and I nods to Hanser, who pads over and licks at him playfully as he falls to the ground, crosseyed, eyes half pulled back like a buck’s.

But Willard, man, Willard’s havin’ real trouble. He’s bulked up, six and a half feet tall now, a black fur rug rippling out of his back, and oh-my-bod, what delicious muscles. But the shag carpet, it’s as far as he goes. He grunts, strains, then shakes his head.

He ain’t even taken his shorts off. He knows this is as far as he can go. Personally, I’m glad to have a half-human in the pack—easier to get feedback. He’s obviously got control, or they wouldn’t have given him to me, but is also obviously new to the Life. He needs help.

I prowls up to him.

“This your limit?” I asks, starin’ him in the eye. He nods, embarrassed, and looks away, but I raises a paw and catches him under the chin with the curved side of one of my claws, lookin’ at his head. “Listen to me: there’s no shame in our affliction. Repeat it.”

“Therrre’s no shame in ourrr aff—affl—affliction,” he says.

“Only prrride in our powerrr,” I says. “All of ya. Repeat it.”

“There’s no shame in our affliction,” the lawyer says, like, real articulate, even though he’s on all fours now, and his head’s all wolf. When’s this lack of concentration supposed to kick in? He shakes that wolf head back and forth, then howls, “Only prrride in our powerrrr!”

“Therrre’s no shame in ourrr affliction,” I roars, “only prrride in our powerrr!”

I prowls back and forth in front of them, listenin’ to them repeat it, those that can. The rest yip and yap and bark … except for the buck, who’s sittin’ there, dazed. His eyes are stuck halfway between human and stag, and he looks winded and dazed.

“But never rushin’ the hardest job any human ever has to do: controllin’ their own beast,” I says, steppin’ up to him. “You ain’t ready. There’s no shame; there’s always next moon. But this one, you ain’t ready. You relax, let the elders care for ya.”

The buck nods, still crosseyed, lickin’ his lips.

“Yyyouw waaant meeee,” Hanser yips, then goes quiet.

I looks back to see Fischer, standin’ there, under his broadbrimmed hat. He’s got the doc with him, black bag under his arm, I mean, seriously, cliché! But he nods to us, and they goes and sits with the buck as the rest of my hunt firms up before me.

“Four in front of you, Willard,” I snarls. “Or anyone else wanna sit this moon out?”

The pack howls and yips and brays, crowdin’ forward.

“Nnnever!” Willard says, beatin’ his chest.

“Yall wanna run?” I snarls.

The pack makes a yippin’. Weak.

“Eye said, y’all wanna run?” I roars.

And my whole hunt howls at the top of their lungs.

“Then let’s rrrun,” I roars, and Hanser at my side, bolts off into the forest.

Enjoy. And onward!

-the Centaur

Closing in on Victory

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Almost at the end of Nanowrimo. Closing in. About a day’s more work to go. Perhaps I’ll get to enjoy my vacation.

Oh, an excerpt:

FROM: “Cinnamon Frost” <frost.csf@dwa.gov>

TO: “Norcross Office” <everyone-norcross@dwa.gov>

CC: austin.wj@dwa.gov, cagayan.rg@dwa.gov, waldona.dg@dwa.gov

SUBJECT: Your security totally sucks

Okay. Hi! Straight to it: your security sucks.

Oh, wait, most of you don’t know me. Well, some of you may know me from “when the APD almost got its ass sued off” or “that time I saved the DWA's ass in the tunnels,” but for the rest, uh, Hi! I’m Cinnamon. I like to gnaw on things and do math.

SO ANYWAY, y’all have been botherin’ me a lot, so I hacked ya.

Hacking a government agency won’t have any negative repercussions, now will it? But very fun to write...

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That’s why the last two days have been so productive! More tomorrow.

-the Centaur.